((..and also! just DEAL WITH the horrible spelling. i know: its horrid. ))
2010, Year of the Tiger. HOOT!
Ah, dear 'ol 2010: i already am in love with you.
And as well, good riddance and ciao to 2009: i was about to knife you. really-really.
the last few days of '09, just to recap what that year was like for me:
*in my new car, i hit a raccoon- only a month after getting this new car because my old one was totalled by a damn deer. all of which is deemed laughable when i have never, ever in my life hit anything before that deer. damn. so new car now messed up. le sigh.
*creepy landlord guy bugs out on me and just does crazy laundry list of NO-NO's.
all of these sleezy landlords that i have dealt with have made me conclude that,
a- i was stalin in a past life.
b- that it is time to buy a fucking house.
c- all landlords in new orleans are out to rob you of your money. yep. you heard it here first people.
*people starting to loose hmm, right word here is..., faith in me because of all this bad luck, which seems to be because of ME (as i am the only common element in all this who-ha-ha), when i know it is just because 2009 had it in for me and wanted it to end with a fucking BANG.
and HUGE FUCKING BANG it did, thank you 2009. you're a bitch.
okay, so, but I made it to CVILLE. i drove in about a day and half- the complete 16 hours. slept in the freeing cold that night, in a rest stop somewhere along the way. that wasn't too fun.
but! i made it! i made it on time and all jazzed up to the show that night! and, let me tell you, what a show!!!!
that is all that matters. and all my worries and fear and heartbreaks and upsets melted away as i danced and sang my heart out with people and a band i admire and adore! <3
and that is all that matters.... it is a night i will forever hold in my heart as BEYOND! beyond anything i expected. coren, i love you. thank you. = )
That to the RIGHT over there is my reward for being, a fan. = ) Near perfect set list from the amazing show that was, My New Years Eve. Uber score.
AND BELOW here is little Bella* and myself when I returned to the hotel. She is my super cutie!!!
CUTIEBELLA!!!!! = )
..best little puppy in the whole wide world.
(hmmm, I think I shall just brake this up in to parts... otherwise it may be way, way, wayyyyyyyy too long. And have too many cuss words, my personal favorite. <3 )
SO, maybe the next blog is the more important one.. but this one needs to escape my pores too.
2008, eh.
2009, bad.
both with a great many high-highs and low-fucking-lows. i hate that roller coaster ride.
2010, so far, EPIC.
maybe it is all in the mindset.. but everywhere i look and view, everyone seems to be relieaved that 2009 is OVER. everyone seems to be finally taking that breath that they held in for so long. all around me, people seem, happy. for once. i don't know if it mostly had to do with the recession or something in their own personal lives, but for the most part (on a whole, at least in the USA) it seems that people everywhere are just happy. there was this one christmas commercial that really caught my eye from hallmark about how a daughter could only afford to give her mother a card this year. but the card meant the world to her mom. the message was profound and made me cry, i think. or maybe i cried after i thought about all that it symbolized for my country and that time and moment in everyone's lives. that commercial really captured our country at that moment, i believe. as cheesy as some of you would call it, it really did sum up the whole year quite effectively and in less than a minute.
TEAM R: Richard and Ross, cutting the meat. My favorite turkey day ever, in at least...10 years. (..oy, i'm getting old. hehe.)
....if i noticed anything from the holidays this past year, it was this:
people REALLY coming together and REALLY listening and caring for one another. i saw it in my own family. hell, ross even HUGGED ME!! now that is a miracle. ;)
but seriously, people sat around the turkey for thanksgiving and really talked to one another. i never before experienced that. and this was with several households i visited on thanksgiving. people going around the table talking about what blessings they were thankful for. another first. which may sound shocking, but the feeling behind their words is what really got to me. that feeling, i could so easily hear, was real. and i felt their truth. that was very, .....cool. ha.
The Challah Bread that Ed, Becky, and myself made for Thanksgiving. YUMM!
....and more of that for christmas! just more real than anything i ever experienced in my life! i went full out this year and celebrated Hanukkah, which was just amazing! The best holiday celebration I have had in years!!! But it seemed the rest of the country was still all about the things that "really mattered". It really touched my heart.
A WHITE Christmas indeed: is SNOWED in TEXAS on Christmas EVE!!!! wowz.
And my family, my father's side of the family, really touched my heart in a way they never have before. And really, for Ross to hug me (!!!) -that is earth shattering crazy-talk. But it happened. I know that someone else had to have seen that! ;)
Why did I get out of the warm house and mess with all that snow on my car and DRIVE in all that snow? For coffee. hehe. i'm offically an addict.
So here I now sit, 10 Jan '10. In Virigina Beach at the Hilton Resort-thing. Le sigh, good one this time. Life is good. Why am I here? Why am I so lucky some moments and have SUCH HORRIBLE LUCK others??? How does all this happen as it does? WHy...why.. how..when...where? ...Who the hell knows. And that is just how it seems, it is going to be. And I guess I'll just enjoy the good-goods... with the ....bad-bads. But sometimes, just plain BORING is AMAZING and more welcomed too. you know? i need more boring in my life. ;)
All that I know is that I am beyond, BEYOND thankful and grateful to my many angels looking out for me. I still believe that I should have been hurt when I hit that deer in my car. But, I wasn't. I thank my Father for that. He has always watched out for me... and I know he was looking out for me.... wherever he is, out there among the starrrs*
See that above? Told 'ya I should have been hurt. I was going down a freeway around 80 miles per hour when I hit this deer. And it maybe should have come crashing into the windshield, instead of flying over the car.... lucky duck, am i. Beyond thankful, pops.
Billy Paul, i miss you. a lot.
loveloveloveloveloveloveloveloveloveloveloveloveloveloveloveloveLOVElovelovelovelovelove
and, You....
I am so thankful, to You. Don't let anyone tell You otherwise. ;) You know what is in my heart and know the truth.... in the mist and muddle of all these lies and hateful happenings. You know. I can never express the gratitude I have for all that is in my life.... but I hope that somehow I show it... by the way I live... how I act... how I try to act... even when I fail, I hope you know I am trying.... trying to be a somewhat decent human being.
And that I still have hope. And faith. More than ever now. ;)
So, thank you. For all the many blessings.
I know how lucky I am... and there is not a day that goes by that I do not think about that- both what I had to lose to have all of this and what all I have to gain.
Amen.
and also, for my three brightest starrrs*:
pops.
mom.
grandmother.
xox.
love you endlessly. respect.
l'chaim, k.
