In Vegas, the view from one of the hotel rooms I stayed in. Maybe the Palms Place since it is the last night to light the last candle. What a great holiday. Best in years. = )
chamesh things to be thankful for:
achat,
for my mother.
shta'yim,
for bella! <3 the little puppy who owns my heart
shalosh,
for sarah and michelle. my brightest starrrrs*
arba,
for this amazing city! how i love new orleans. go saints!
chamesh,
for art and its ability to communicate and translate what words cannot. yes, it is such a great one to be thankful for i must end with it again.
= )
i have returned to this fair city of mine, New Orleans. what a babe she is. = )
this past year i have been in here the whole time. no trips overseas for me. which is really something, for me, to be proud of. i have lived in various parts of west texas, on 5th ave on the upper east side (!!!) in manhattan for the spring/summer months, made my return to Seattle-Oly area for the first time in years, and finally moved back to the city whose grip on my heart has remained since my last visit in 2006. This is Home. as silly as that can sound to someone reading this who doesn't really know about the details of my story involving new orleans, it is a true statement. new york city could never be home. as much as i would want it to be, that city of gliz and glam and utter heartbreak (at times) could never be my Home. maybe in short intervals and in passing, but it has too much of a cold shoulder and its eye on money for my taste.
This recent visit to L.A. (mainly Santa Monica and Venice Beach) made me want to give that place another try. As long as I never, never, never went to the L.A. area and only stayed in my little area of beaches and Santa Monica streets.
That is me, on my apt roof, in NYC this past Spring/Summer. The day I left.
I would like to get a boat. Thanks to Shannon, an idea always floating around my head that never before seemed like a possibility may indeed be my close reality: a boat owner! = ) but that is another post for another time. Hopefully not to far away from now.....
This is me, flipping the bird to downtown L.A. while I sit in my car idle on the interstate due to traffic. I hate you, L.A. Damn you city.
So, L.A.
I hate you. I really do. You are the only place that is able to turn me into a green eyed asshole. I can't stand the person I become trying to "keep up" when I am in that city. It is a different type of "keep up" play than it is in NYC. But I don't like that game either. To find some really amazing people within 100 miles of that area really made my fuckin' day. So yes, I may move out to Santa Monica/Venice Beach one day. One day. Maybe by that day, I can live in my boat. = )
In Santa Monica Main Street this is what catches your eye the most. = )
I am here till March. Cause you know me, being in this country for too long makes me nervous. So I booked a flight. hehe. I was going to go there anyways. The plan, BEFORE my car accident-mind you, was that I was going to go on a five month trip to South America then do a mini trip of Europe (to catch a few festivals and 'cause it is world cup time again!!! gotta visit europe during those special times yall!) before heading to Israel again.
Well, since I decided it was best to just save my money on the trip to South America (-cause I just spent a boatload on my new Pruis.... and it is stupid to just buy and new car and leave it sitting somewhere for a year! Um, silly!). But I can't just not go and do what I was going to do anyways, forever. Just cause I have a new car doesn't mean anything. So I will leave her parked for a few months this upcoming spring while I head back overseas! So excited to get my ass back over there. And this time, for the right reasons. Not for silly girlish-love reasons. Nope.
You only have one first trip to Israel. Luckily, I can go back and forth... but I'll never have that first trip again. Le Sigh. I don't plan on wasting my time there again. And plus it NOT BEING WINTER and cold and rainy, I think I have a great chance of some good luck this time around. It will be spring after all. = )
Taken from the Dead Sea area, Israel, Decemeber 2008 trip.
I am so excited to do what I plan to do there. More about that later. And I am pretty sure my little Bella is going to make the trek with me!!!! = ) So excited about that!
I hope to catch the La Tomatina Festival again in Bunol, Spain. Hopefully I can meet Sabrina there. = )
Bella!!! ...how i adore this little one. <3
For now, I just plan to be. To Be in thei city with my little pup. Live and live well.
I am still volunteering with Habitat. I love those people. They are GOOOOOOD SHIT. = )
And with a few of those others. Plus I am going to try and get with some new organizations since I am here in town longer. And! Connect with the Jewish Community and hopefully start building my relationship with them and a local shul. = )
2010 is going to amazing. Yes, bad. Cause that is always gonna rear it's ugly head. But as long as you keep in mind that it just has to occur to have balance, all is well.
What an ending to this year! What a beginning to 2009 too. Gosh, what a surviver this year has made me. In all honesty, 2009 was hell. The end of 2008 was utter hell. Living in Manhattan was great, but it rained everyday. And that was the complete and utter perfect landscape for my mind's state this past spring. It took a year, a complete year, to forgive and forget that pain and heartbreak. I still get sad. from time to time. It still makes me not trust people anymore with my heart. It still scares me to death that it will happen again. That it is the only thing that can happen: utter failure and heartbreak. But...
you get up.
you dust yourself off.
you try and open your heart again...
because living with out your heart isn't a Life at all.
i did that for almost a year and it is a wonder that i am still around to see that i was, in fact, able to pick myself up from it all.
I sound dramatic, but I saw the depths of the lowest of low- within myself. I became a person I wasn't at all proud to be and become. Luckily, I've found my way back. And the sunshine was more than welcoming- to embrace me once again. = )
No more downpours for me, please.
I can't take another heartbreak like that.
Love is love is love.... and you can't keep the best thing about a Human Being lock up just because of the fear to be hurt again. I know that more than ever now. (I have that phrase, "more than ever." It errks me.)
It is all an ebb and flow. A game. A choice. You make choices and you live with what you picked. Sometimes it is groovy. Others, not so much.
Maybe this time I learned my lesson.
I hope.
Love,
me.
TO LIFE!!!!
